I just want to remind everyone that it’s more likely than not that rita skeeter and bellatrix black were in the same year at school and since I’m pretty confident that rita skeeter was a slytherin, this means they were roommates
for seven years
screw a marauders prequel please write me these assholes mean girlsing each other back and forth for their entire hogwarts careers
#Harry Potter#oh my god this must have been DELECTABLE#cuz everything just rolls of her back#he wouldn’t have been able to break her like he did so many others#and you know she would have interrupted him every few minutes with weird things#‘professor I think we need to be more careful of the flibbertijibbets’#‘they’re attracted to the beetle barbs we’re using and they could cause an itching epidemic in everyone’s left nostril’#‘miss Lovegood flibbertijibbets do not exist’#‘much like your final grade if you do not cease this foolishness’#‘if you say so professor’#‘but I think my left nostril is already starting to itch’#and because talking about itching makes itching happen#(or maybe flibbertijibbets do exist who am I to say)#everyone’s left nostril starts itching#panic spreads slowly through the classroom#what are flibbertijibbets??#are they dangerous???#Snape loses control of the class#and eventually comes to realize he has to play along with Luna’s concerns#or else every class will dissolve into chaos#‘miss Lovegood it is impossible for flibbertijibbets to enter this classroom’#‘I have set up a number of wards’#‘oh alright professor…but did you hang the rosemary on the lintel?’#’it’s really the only way to distract them sufficiently’#and then he realizes he has to actually figure out what she expects so he can counter it and keep control of the class#he has to start reading the Quibbler#he accidentally ends up legitimizing everything Luna believes in#SO THERE’S A NEW FAVOURITE HEADCANON#sorry if I made you itchy#ChimaWrita (x)
Thank you for all of this
Slytherins truly being slytherins.
Slytherins working with Dumbledore’s Army. They spread false rumors about where they’ve sighted students. They join Umbridge’s close circle so that they can learn the moves and plans of the Inquisitorial Squad so that they can warn the DA of when it’s safe to hold practice. They rotate in shifts, some lead the IS on a wild goose chase while their housemates practice with the rest of the army. Sometimes they charm their robes to look like another houses and lead the IS far away from the Room of Requirement as they can before turning a corner and de-charming their robes. They make up stories about chasing students who mysteriously disappear without a trace. Umbridge sends students to search areas of the castle nowhere near the actual Room of Requirement.
As Umbridge tightens her hold on the school, slytherin students try to protect their DA friends. They pass messages of encouragement and support to their friends, veiled in threats and taunts. They bully the loudest, but do the least damage; their housemates think that they’re being cruel, their friends know that they’re shielding them from actual harm.
Slytherin students passing information to the Order while the Golden Trio is hunting for horcruxes, tracking the moves of Death Eaters to the best of their ability. They withstand the dark days in Hogwarts, helping their friends the best they can without looking suspicious. Charmed plastic rats run through the castle hallway, passing messages between the houses. Children of Death Eaters eavesdrop in dark hallways of their homes, holding their breath and straining their ears. When slytherin students suddenly disappear, go home and don’t come back, everyone knew what had happened. They mourned privately and quietly.
DA members and the Order housing slytherin students who can’t go home. Many have to run away, for their own safety. As Voldemort grew in power, it was harder and harder to keep their true intentions a secret. Children of Death Eaters were being pressured to take the Dark Mark, were being drafted to fight for Voldemort, were being told that their friends deserved to die. The students that said no were threatened with death or kicked out of their homes, branded as disgraced traitors. Those who couldn’t stand up to their families slipped away in the night. Some died, at the hands of Death Eaters, at the hands of their own parents.
Slytherin students fighting during the final battle at Hogwarts, standing up against family and friends to protect their home. Staring across the courtyard at their mothers, fathers, siblings, childhood friends. People screaming at them; ‘blood traitors’ ringing through the air of the courtyard, hurled at slytherins who had their shoulders squared and their chins up. Slytherins having to throw charms and jinxes and curses at familiar faces, people they had trusted. Slytherin students killing their loved ones, being given no other choice. Slytherin students dying while standing up for what they believe in.
Slytherin students being more than a stereotype.
Slytherins being more than one dimensional villains. Slytherin students being shown as diverse, fully developed characters with a variety of motivations and beliefs. Slytherins being slytherins; proud, ambitious, and cunning. And proving that those things don’t mean being evil.
I reblogged this so hard, I broke two nails.
Bloody Hagrid and his simple-minded, good versus evil view of people are the reason Slytherins are so misunderstood throughout their canon appearance. Dumbledore himself acts more like a Slytherin than any other house. He prioritises his end goal over the safety of others, he relentlessly pursues what he believes to be right with single-minded determination and sometimes scarcely a thought for how this might affect others. He is devious, and clever, and those are NOT bad things. Those are essential to winning the war. But fucking Hagrid, who blindly gave his allegiance without a second thought, goes and lets off his big mouth about witches and wizards “going bad” – like he’s some kind of saint who never endangered a life at Hogwarts – and all of a sudden an entire house of students is branded evil.
Slytherins are not evil. Slytherins are smart. Slytherins are loyal, and hard to bullshit. Slytherins know when to open their mouth and when to keep it closed, when to keep their friends close, and when to keep their enemies closer. Slytherins survive where Gryffindors die in the first bloody, brutal charge because they didn’t check to see where the edge of the cliff was first.
WHEN WILL YOU ALL LEARN THAT HARRY DIDN’T STEAL NEVILLE’S LOLLIPOP, IT GOT STUCK TO HIS INVISIBILITY CLOAK AS HE WALKED PAST.
IF HE STOLE IT
A) WE WOULD SEE HIS HAND STICKING OUT TO GRAB IT
B) IF HARRY WAS EATING IT, IT WOULD BE INVISIBLE SINCE ANYTHING UNDER THE CLOAK BECOMES INVISIBLE
Remember the time literally like 90% of the old fandom was convinced that Neville was really the Chosen One and that Harry was raised as a decoy, and there were so many fanfictions and fanart and hundreds of different blog posts on all of the old Harry Potter websites and we were all convinced that this was going to happen, and we were all looking forward to it happening, and we were all extremely suspicious when the new plot points suddenly appeared (horcruxes and hallows) and we were all cynically convinced that J.K. Rowling threw in these twists at the last moment because she wanted to give us something that we weren’t expecting, and as much as we loved the last two books, we all knew, deep in our hearts, that Neville should have been the Chosen One and Harry should have been the decoy?
went to a bar for Harry Potter trivia last night and the best part were the team names. some of the gems include:
- The Chinese Fire-Babes (this was us btw)
- Neville Powerbottom
- Snitches Get Stitches
- Bitch Better Have My Galleons
- Tom Riddle’s Diary of a Mad Fat Black Woman
- Granger? I Hardly Know Her!
- Call Me Gillyweed: I Can Go Down For An Hour
- Snapes on a Plane
- Going Snape-shit
- Godric Swallows
tag urself im going snape-shit
no but bi harry deliberately fucking with ron like they’re at christmas dinner or w/e and harry just goes “you know ron i’m in love with your sister and everything but if bill was single…goddamn. i’d go there”
bill winks across the table at harry
“GODDAMN IT YOU CAN’T TAKE ALL MY SIBLINGS, HARRY.”
“Don’t worry, Ron, you can keep Percy.”
I FUKCGIN PISSED MYSELF
Oh God…and Harry flirting shamelessly with Fred and George and them flirting back just to piss Ron off…..I need it
Ron wakes up to harry wearing a different Weasleys sweater every morning
This got better
alright but what if every single one of the harry potter main characters eventually have a kid that they name “Fred” without knowing anyone else also did this (so now there’s fred potter, fred weasley, fred longbottom, etc) except they’re friends so all their kids are friends and as soon as one of them gets in trouble someone’s yelling “FRED” and 3-6 kids are turning around going “WHAT DID I DO” and I think that’s exactly the kind of chaotic legacy Fred would’ve liked to leave
I sincerely believe that by 7th year Ravenclaws would just tell the door to their common room to fuck off and it would open for them
Q “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
A “You shouldn’t shove either up your arse.”
Imagine it, a poor First Year is waiting outside the common room, they can’t answer the riddle in a way to appease the eagle and must wait until someone else to answer it for them. It’s getting late, they’re starting to resign themselves to having to spend the night here.
Suddenly, their saviour comes! It’s a seventh year! Back from a night finishing off their Araithmancy essay in the Library. They look angry, but our poor little first year squares their shoulders, waiting to see what will happen, and hope that they’ll keep the door open for them.
The Seventh Year bangs the handle against the wall, and a slightly disgruntled voice asks the question again: “What is the truth?”
The Student Replies, “The Truth is that I am so fucking sick of all these mother fucking questions about stupid fucking topics like this you bloody fuck-witted bastard. Who in the name of Merlin’s saggy left testicle gives a fucking damn about all this shit anyway? I’ve been working my arse off in the library for the last seven hours now let me the fuck in or, truthfully, I’ll blast my way in and take you with me.”
The eagle knocker tutts, but allows the student entry anyway, and our little first year enters, eyes wide and in shock. They watch the seventh year go up to their bedroom, awe all over their face at their new hero. They did, indeed, learn something that day by waiting for someone to arrive, they learnt that swearing has a magic all of it’s fucking own, and that sometimes it is big and clever to use it.